Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Open Relationship

Today in class we were discussing Hooks' open relationship and how it was her choice to have that open relationship. I think Hooks wanted that open relationship because maybe she viewed her other relationship, writing, as an open relationship as well. Maybe she thought if one was exclusive that the other would suffer. So she really loved Mack and she wanted him to respond to her, but she wanted to be able to have the option to write. We talked about her being insecure. I think that she had both these things so that when one would fail to cure her insecurities that the other would be able to be there to be the back up. She maybe did not want to sacrifice her love for either one to totally maintain her security. She wants to never be alone therefore she has Mack, but at the same time she wants to be by herself, which she does through her writing.


  1. Kristy, I think you brought up an interesting point about how committed Hooks is to her writing and how it is such a big part of her life. I can see how maybe an exclusive relationship would have felt like more of a burden to her and given her less time and space to devote to her writing.

  2. I think hooks' fell in love with the idea of an open relationship where she could act on her attractions. However, because of her personality, I don't think the practice of it was successful. Then again, it could Mack. Maybe if she had been with someone else then the open relationship would have worked. Does anyone know if hooks' went on to have other open relationships after Mack?

  3. I think you brought up some interesting points about open relationships. However, I feel that the reasoning for this kind of relationship may go back to what we talked about very early in the semester. Is it possibly to be truely monogomous? Maybe she thought that giving him the opportunity to explore without any reprecusion would actually make him more loyal to her emotionally. Can we really detach the emotional from the sexual? Or are they bound too tightly as one?

  4. I also think that is a really good point Kristy- she may have very well viewed the rest of her relationships in her life like she viewed her writing because she it gave her affirmation and she was a very insecure person (I'm not criticizing her she's awesome). However, I am just wondering about what other people think: is there really such a thing as a healthy open relationship? Is it feminist, if like hooks, people use open relationships as a defensive mechanism to brace them from their insecure emotions?

  5. i think brittany and mallory bring up good points with kristi's beginning great post. it is a valid question if open ever works. and i am going to bring in the band 'the submarines' and their song 'xavia' when they say/ask: why do two people never feel the same thing at the same time?

    as two people living in separate bodies and lives (as each of the people had different befores), can they ever be on the same page? probably not. but can those differences co-exist maybe is the question.

    and the defense mechanism is an interesting idea, mallory. i think many times people use it with an honest intent. then the cannot take out the emotional that forms, brit, and use the open after as the thing to keep them emotionally blind.

    reallllly interesting the idea of free love and open relationship. can it ever really work? or does it work and then if it works, does it have a time limit attach to it (i guess an attachment from time, removes some of the freedom, huh?)?