Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dating between professors and students


This article was interesting. The interviewer asked different faculty members from various institutions on their stance of professor-student relationships.

I'd have to agree that it is unethical and that there is a violation of personal trust between professor and student. I think a professor should only be a mentor, someone you can talk to on a professional, and sometimes, personal level. I think having dinner with a professor in a group situation is fine, but getting drinks together could be crossing the line.

I do know more so of grad students dating their students from their tutorials. I've always wondered why they do this? As a student, I don't think I could date a guy who was teaching me in a classroom and dictating my learning progression in the course of study. I think I'd feel uncomfortable discussing my thoughts on a novel or article with someone I'd been intimate with.

Anyway, would love to hear explanations on why grad students and professors date their students, and why it's ok.

Monday, February 23, 2009


This is one of those "hard to put down" books. I find myself so interested in her life because it is the complete opposite from mine. Growing up I have always seen the man being more dominant in the relationship and the women being conservative. However, it was weird to me how her mother let her kind of walk all over her. It seemed to me that her mom never told her "no" that she was able to do whatever she felt like doing.

At first, I was jealous of the type of relationship she had with Daryl. I first felt this way when she told him she could not marry him and his reaction was not angry but a solution. Later in the book though, i felt like he was a push over and would start to get on my nerves.

I was happy to see that by the end of the reading her parents relationship grew stronger between themselves and with her. I feel that it is truly important for a child to have a good relationship their parents and when they do not, in my own experience, (just a theory/opinion, not saying always) I feel like it will be harder to connect with their children later in life. I am excited to continue reading and to see what happens next.

Race Discussion

Leaving class on Thursday when we had our race disucssion I felt very confused. One part of me was very irritated by the discussion that we were having because I felt very strongly about the issue and I felt that some comments that were made were completely false and negligent. However, I was very happy that we were actually starting to have the discussion about race. In several other classes I have taken here at Saint Mary's, the discussion about race never really took off. A few very carefully thought out comments were made about the issue but that was as far as it went. So I was just super stoked that we were finally having the discussion about race and the stereotypes that are made and the different sides of the argument. Regardless of my views I was excited to see that we could start to have the discussion on a topic that is generally considered taboo at our university.

An Unconventional Fam

I actually really liked the beginning of Sandra Lipsitz Bem's book. At first, I found her marriage proposal to show signs of arrogance and immaturity (because she is only 20 and is ignorant on many levels), though she regained my trust when she describes her childhood memories between her mother and father. I was particularly shocked at what a powerful role her mother played, and how manipulative and controlling she was, even to the point of making her father cry. Because my father is definitely an alpha-male and my mother is very feminine, I can never imagine my dad crying because of my mother's cruel treatment toward him. I think, though, that I would hate my mother if I witnessed her being so mean to my dad to the point of making him cry, (and vice versa).

I also find it interesting how her sister showed early signs of being a lesbian, and how, Sandra also has a difficult time dealing with her sexuality. I wonder why it is that both struggle with their sexuality. It's very interesting, and I'm sure I'll find out later in the book.

As for her attempts at egalitarian partnering, I think she is in complete denial that, she, like her dominant mother, wears the pants in the relationship. She makes all the decisions and justifies her decision-making by saying that her husband is just not a confrontational parent. Because this book is written from her perspective, I cannot fully believe that their relationship was equal.


I found it really interesting in class to hear everyone response to white privilege. I guess my whole life I knew it existed because I had been taught about it from living in America. My family if from Poland, so everyone in my family ,I think, is more unaware of what privileges they have. I guess that I never really put it into perspective that I had an unspoken privilege. Not to say I don't have it, because I am sure that I do, but I think that since I do not really realize that it exist that I can fully understand it. Sorry if that confuses anyone. I guess I never have been in a situation where I have realized that I was white. It sounds stupid, but I think coming from a family of immigrants, I have not thought really of this privilege. I just wonder if any of you have really had a defining moment or if you just knew all along of your whiteness?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Past and Racism

So today in class we were talking about racism and the question of past influence of past problems.  I in some ways believe that yes, it should be talked about but not used as a tool of "my brothers" or " my people".  I think it's great to know where someone came from to know how things have changed but the point of it was not you is very valid.  
Also i do believe that it is generational to pass racism but I also believe that it is also generational to NOT pass racism along.  If we start now trying to teach some form of  equality, just like all negativity it will eventually subside.  But also like all negativity and change it will take awhile.  It is also a regional thing.  I think it is more blatant racism in the south but more subtle when in the north.  That is a huge generalization but it really does depend on the region.
And this is the last thing i swear...lol... the confederate flag thing at Ole Miss today really bothered me.  This was mainly because it is simply a heritage thing it is not necessarily a racism thing.  I am from the south and my dad is from the south.  We are proud of that but because we have a few confederate flags and proudly have then elsewhere does not mean that we are racist or that it is a sign of racism.  And if I remember, it wasn't even the official flag of the confederacy.  So just because someone flies a confederate flag  does not mean that they are racist.

Monday, February 16, 2009

real vs. virtual

So I've been thinking alot about this whole virtual real and real self thing.  I wonder about myself now, how much of me is real and how much isn't?  What is it that I want people to know about my real self and my virtual self?  Where do they overlap?  I don't know it seems like we all have things to hide so does the real really exist?  I dont know.... it so confusing.  People in general are confusing and i feel like this just adds another demension of confusion.

Monday, February 9, 2009

pretty good for a girl

This book was most likely my favorite book that I have been assigned throughout my four years at Saint Mary's College. I know that there are some people that were not able to connect to this book as much as others, but I am sure if you think of it you can. Think of something in your life that you wanted more than anything in the world, something that you worked so hard for but you fell short of your own expectations.

When Heywood was told by her doctor that she had to give up her lifetime dream and something that she worked most of her life for, I felt heartbroken for her. When she was receiving this news I could actually feel myself tightening up in fear of how she was going to react. I could not even imagine how I would react to this type of news. I was surprised to how well Heywood took the news and put her energy into Body Building. At first I was afraid she was over doing it in this sport, too. But I believe by the end of the book she became a stronger person in more ways than one.

Last class period the question was brought up if we believed this was actually a Feminist Memoir or not. Throughout the book I could not see how this was a Feminist Memoir, I actually thought the complete opposite. That was until I got to the Epilogue and she told the readers why she was writing this book. Now, I can see how this is a a Feminist Memoir and how powerful it was at that.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Just a Question. . .

The other day in class, some people brought up the fact that Saint Mary's is too Catholic. I was wondering what y'all meant by that. I have gone to Catholic schools my entire life, both parochial and private, and I do not find this school that Catholic at all. Yes, we are required to take religion courses. However, we are not required to take classes that teach Catholic Doctrine, Church history etc. But we are given the oppurtunity to learn about other religions, Judaism, Islam etc. . . which I think is extremely important to be a well rounded individual in today's society. There are crucifixes in the classrooms, mediation rooms, parietals, but this is a Catholic school. That is to be expected. I mean this school could be way more Catholic, or Christian for that matter. Univeristy of Samford which is Methodist, has curfews for students (they literally lock the gates) and has a no alcohol policy for all its students. Holy Cross College, our neighbor, has parietals and you have to have the door open when a member of the opposite sex is in your room. I know this school is far from perfect, but I am really interested in how other people view Saint Mary's as being too Catholic, or if I am totally missing the boat on this otherwise.

Women Athletes

After reading Heywood's, Pretty Good for a Girl, and having a class discussion about Leslie, I wanted to I guess talk about women's athletics in comparison to men's athletics. I found Leslie to be really reliable, because I am a competitive runner, but I can see how many could not. It is a whole different world to compete in running and to run for pleasure. I don't mean to offend anyone on this comment (sorry if I do). It seems to me though that when ever a women athlete outshines the rest of the athletes on the course, court, field, etc. that she almost has to embody this male persona. It is extremely weird to me to look into the head of another female athlete, a runner in particular, and compare it to my own mind through athletic competition. It looks to me like Leslie uncovers this hidden testosterone, where winning is her only way out. It defines who she is. She no longer takes on a role as a female, she is an athlete, which often (I believe) is a term that can be confused with male. When people come to women's sporting events they are there to either A. cheer on there family members, or B. (which this is the one that pisses me off the most) to see "hot" girls in practically no clothes. I know I spoke about a website that I had stumbled upon when I was looking for a picture of one of my favorite runners. I went back to that website right after class. First off, the website was labeled 50 Hottest Women In Sports and the subtitle, get this, hours of training, dedication, toned bodies, tanned skins. Most, if not all, of the women where on the website in a bikini. This baffled me because I think three of them were winter sports women who lived in cold climates such as Aspen. Now I don't know that much about winter sports, but I think that a little more than just a bikini is needed to preform well. What made the most mad is that Victoria Beckham was on there and she was a freakin Spice Girl!!!! She never played any sport what so ever! Under the picture it said, "She does not play sports, but she David Beckham's (Soccer player) wife. Excuse me? What hours of training and dedication did it take to marry a soccer player? Oh none. That's what I thought. There was so much emphasis on what a women should look like from the result of playing sports (or the marrying to sports figures) more so then the actual action and hard work it takes to play sports. All of the pictures were photographs that were chosen by women athletes to take. So just like Heywood knowing she is beautiful and getting more attention for that, is the same thing that all outstanding female athletes do. They have to fit in to what will make them popular so that they will be watched and idolized and wanted. This is what they do. Another thing to compare this is that men athletes have pictures where they are sweating and preforming, beating someone, winning. Heywood embodied a male athlete because she wanted to be know for her running. I think it is wrong that females have to be this way and they have to be sexy to get signed to do there passion whereas men just throw a football OK and get signed to a college team (sorry I had to take a dig at Notre Dame). I know that it is hard for people who have not been in Heywood's position to sympathize, and it is hard to believe that women athletes think like this, but trust me behind all those toned bodies, and tanned skins is hard work and dedication that has to be hidden by a manly persona. This is how to get noticed, its not fair, but for now (until I become a major female athlete[haha]) this is the way it has to be done.