Dating between professors and students

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/04/22/national/main550500.shtml


This article was interesting. The interviewer asked different faculty members from various institutions on their stance of professor-student relationships.

I'd have to agree that it is unethical and that there is a violation of personal trust between professor and student. I think a professor should only be a mentor, someone you can talk to on a professional, and sometimes, personal level. I think having dinner with a professor in a group situation is fine, but getting drinks together could be crossing the line.

I do know more so of grad students dating their students from their tutorials. I've always wondered why they do this? As a student, I don't think I could date a guy who was teaching me in a classroom and dictating my learning progression in the course of study. I think I'd feel uncomfortable discussing my thoughts on a novel or article with someone I'd been intimate with.

Anyway, would love to hear explanations on why grad students and professors date their students, and why it's ok.

Unconventional

This is one of those "hard to put down" books. I find myself so interested in her life because it is the complete opposite from mine. Growing up I have always seen the man being more dominant in the relationship and the women being conservative. However, it was weird to me how her mother let her kind of walk all over her. It seemed to me that her mom never told her "no" that she was able to do whatever she felt like doing.

At first, I was jealous of the type of relationship she had with Daryl. I first felt this way when she told him she could not marry him and his reaction was not angry but a solution. Later in the book though, i felt like he was a push over and would start to get on my nerves.

I was happy to see that by the end of the reading her parents relationship grew stronger between themselves and with her. I feel that it is truly important for a child to have a good relationship their parents and when they do not, in my own experience, (just a theory/opinion, not saying always) I feel like it will be harder to connect with their children later in life. I am excited to continue reading and to see what happens next.

Race Discussion

Leaving class on Thursday when we had our race disucssion I felt very confused. One part of me was very irritated by the discussion that we were having because I felt very strongly about the issue and I felt that some comments that were made were completely false and negligent. However, I was very happy that we were actually starting to have the discussion about race. In several other classes I have taken here at Saint Mary's, the discussion about race never really took off. A few very carefully thought out comments were made about the issue but that was as far as it went. So I was just super stoked that we were finally having the discussion about race and the stereotypes that are made and the different sides of the argument. Regardless of my views I was excited to see that we could start to have the discussion on a topic that is generally considered taboo at our university.

An Unconventional Fam

I actually really liked the beginning of Sandra Lipsitz Bem's book. At first, I found her marriage proposal to show signs of arrogance and immaturity (because she is only 20 and is ignorant on many levels), though she regained my trust when she describes her childhood memories between her mother and father. I was particularly shocked at what a powerful role her mother played, and how manipulative and controlling she was, even to the point of making her father cry. Because my father is definitely an alpha-male and my mother is very feminine, I can never imagine my dad crying because of my mother's cruel treatment toward him. I think, though, that I would hate my mother if I witnessed her being so mean to my dad to the point of making him cry, (and vice versa).

I also find it interesting how her sister showed early signs of being a lesbian, and how, Sandra also has a difficult time dealing with her sexuality. I wonder why it is that both struggle with their sexuality. It's very interesting, and I'm sure I'll find out later in the book.

As for her attempts at egalitarian partnering, I think she is in complete denial that, she, like her dominant mother, wears the pants in the relationship. She makes all the decisions and justifies her decision-making by saying that her husband is just not a confrontational parent. Because this book is written from her perspective, I cannot fully believe that their relationship was equal.

Identity

I found it really interesting in class to hear everyone response to white privilege. I guess my whole life I knew it existed because I had been taught about it from living in America. My family if from Poland, so everyone in my family ,I think, is more unaware of what privileges they have. I guess that I never really put it into perspective that I had an unspoken privilege. Not to say I don't have it, because I am sure that I do, but I think that since I do not really realize that it exist that I can fully understand it. Sorry if that confuses anyone. I guess I never have been in a situation where I have realized that I was white. It sounds stupid, but I think coming from a family of immigrants, I have not thought really of this privilege. I just wonder if any of you have really had a defining moment or if you just knew all along of your whiteness?

Past and Racism

So today in class we were talking about racism and the question of past influence of past problems.  I in some ways believe that yes, it should be talked about but not used as a tool of "my brothers" or " my people".  I think it's great to know where someone came from to know how things have changed but the point of it was not you is very valid.  

Also i do believe that it is generational to pass racism but I also believe that it is also generational to NOT pass racism along.  If we start now trying to teach some form of  equality, just like all negativity it will eventually subside.  But also like all negativity and change it will take awhile.  It is also a regional thing.  I think it is more blatant racism in the south but more subtle when in the north.  That is a huge generalization but it really does depend on the region.

And this is the last thing i swear...lol... the confederate flag thing at Ole Miss today really bothered me.  This was mainly because it is simply a heritage thing it is not necessarily a racism thing.  I am from the south and my dad is from the south.  We are proud of that but because we have a few confederate flags and proudly have then elsewhere does not mean that we are racist or that it is a sign of racism.  And if I remember, it wasn't even the official flag of the confederacy.  So just because someone flies a confederate flag  does not mean that they are racist.

real vs. virtual

So I've been thinking alot about this whole virtual real and real self thing.  I wonder about myself now, how much of me is real and how much isn't?  What is it that I want people to know about my real self and my virtual self?  Where do they overlap?  I don't know it seems like we all have things to hide so does the real really exist?  I dont know.... it so confusing.  People in general are confusing and i feel like this just adds another demension of confusion.